The Bus Towed My Volvo Home

Holy Hometown Hoo-raw! My Steelers did it – they finally got their 5th Super Bowl win! They got it with all the efficiency & reliability of my 1966 Volvo 122S with that bad clutch. I liked that car, even though I had to start it with a screwdriver. The Steelers’ screwdriver was the officiating crew. I expected them to simultaneously sprout goatees like Evil Spock used to do, so you knew which was which. These guys were as bad as the crew at the Colts game, it’s just that the bad calls went the Steelers’ way this time.
It seemed that each time that sleek Seahawk offense got started, their clutch slipped too: Hasselbeck had recurrent “Doo-dee-doo-dee-doo” moments late in each half, whiling away precious seconds with audibles. His dithering could have been a great ploy, as it made it impossible for the defense to set up their reads. Unfortunately, it also made it impossible for his offense to execute.
My Volvo had leather seats, but they were ripped & ragged. The Seahawks have Shaun Alexander, the MVP, but he looked worn & his seams were coming apart. The Bus was a non-factor, & his body is as faded & dented as my poor Volvo’s fenders. He did the right thing by retiring – too bad he didn’t get a touchdown yesterday.
It was cool to see so many SB firsts: Randal El’s TD pass, Willie Parker’s record run, etc. However, I had the feeling that the Steelers weren’t so much winning the game as not losing it. The expected standouts were standing out there not doing much at all. Joey Porter was a non-factor, & we were treated to an episode of ‘Where In The World Is Carmen Polamalu?’ Those 2 early false start penalties have become a staple of the Iron City offense. Neither team played up to potential; at least it wasn’t a One-Quarter Wonder.
Don’t even get me started on Mick Jagger…